Kami no Itte
by Rebbi
Summary: Hikaru and Akira's successful careers are matched with personal problems. AngstRomanceDrama. I've done some fanarts for this, hope ppl like them. visit my fanart site in my profile to see them!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Hikaru no Go, so don't sue!

**Warning:** This is my first attempt to write a fanfic in English so please please don't be harsh on me and do read and review! I apologize in advance for any grammar or spelling mistakes.

**Edited: **I just realized that if Akira's surname is written as Touya with a 'u', then Hikaru's should be Shindou instead of Shindo, so I just corrected that alone with some other things. Also I've updated my profile with a fanart site that contains fanarts for this fic, so check them out!

**Summary**: The story takes place five years after the conclusion of the manga. Hikaru is now on the verge of winning his first title, while Akira has already become Meiji. Both are still rivals on their path to Kami no Itte – the hand of God. But their successful career is also matched with complicated personal lives.

**Chapter One: Marriage Proposal**

Touya Akira absentmindedly stared at the go board in front of him. He was in the middle of a shidougo, but his mind strayed from the stones on the board. _Shindou would be playing his seventh game against Ichiryu Kisei right now, I wonder if he'll win._ _If he wins, then we'll both hold one title. _Thinking back, Touya was still amazed at how quickly Shindou has caught up to him.

'Touya-sensei? Touya-sensei? There's a call for you.'

Touya jumped, staring at an official standing next to the goban. People around his table smiled at his reaction; apparently they thought that he was just too absorbed in the game. Embarrassed that he has been distracted in the middle of a game, which rarely happened him, the young Meijin raised from his seat.

'Sumimasen, please excuse me.' He politely bowed to his opponent and followed the official to the reception desk.

'Moshimoshi? Oh, mother, it's you…what? It's today?…I'm sorry, I completely forgot about it…No…no I won't be able to get away now. Next Tuesday? No, I really can't! I've got to go now, I'll talk to you later.'

Hanging up the phone, Akira signed. 'Touya sensei, is everything ok? You can leave if you are too busy. We are already glad that you showed up today.' The official asked. 'Oh, no, no, everything's fine. Please let me continue with the game.' Signing heavily again, Akira dragged himself back to his table. _Great, now I have another thing to worry about apart from Shindou. How on Earth am I gonna concentrate on this game?_ His mind full of flashback from last Sunday's dinner, Akira winced at the memory.

--_flashback_--

It was the usual peaceful Sunday dinner at the Touyas. Akira sipped his miso-soup, thinking about his game against Kurata Jyuudan that day.

'Akira?'

'Yes, mother?'

'Do you remember Mr.Takayama, your father's friend? Well, we were thinking of inviting the Takayamas over for dinner next Wednesday. How is your schedule that day?'

_That's strange,_ Akira thought,_ why do they want me to be there_? Although still living with his parents, usually Akira was not asked to join any of his parents' gatherings or parties ever since the ex-Meiji has retired from the Go community. 'I have to be there, too?' He asked curiously.

'Err, well, Mr.Takayama's daughter, Sayu-san, is coming too. You've met her when you were small, remember?'

'Yes, but I haven't seen her since I was five.' Akira frowned, wondering why suddenly his mother wanted him to meet a childhood playmate.

'Akira.' Mrs.Touya put down her bow of rice and gazed at her son. 'Actually, we've arranged an Omiai(1) for you this Wednesday.'

'You WHAT?' Nearly choking, the young man stared at his mother in shock.

'Well, your father and I were talking about you and we thought that it is time for you to start thinking about getting married.'

'But I'm only twenty!'

'Already twenty, you mean!' Akiko scorned at her son. 'I married your father when I was seventeen(2).'

'I don't want to get married! I need to concentrate on my games, or Shindou will surpass me in no time!' Angry at his mother's sudden proposal, Akira shouted.

'That's exactly why I want you to get married! You know that I can't take care of you properly as I would be traveling with your father most of the time. You need someone to look after you, especially when you are too busy with your games. This might be too sudden, but I know you, Akira. You'll never have anytime to begin dating yourself if we don't bring this up. Plus, arranged marriage is not that bad at all! Look at your father and me!' Akiko added, fondly putting her hand on the ex-Meiji's.

'Father! You know I don't…' Completely thrown off by his mother's absurd suggestion, the young man turned to his father for help.

'You mother is just worried about you, Akira. Just give it a chance, for her sake.' Said the ex-Meijin calmed.

--_back to present--_

Since that conversation, Akiko has been enthusiastically arranging Akira to meet with various girls, ranging from fellow Go pro to daughters of some famous business men. So far, Akira considered himself lucky to have been able to make up some excuses and avoid all the meetings, although he's not sure if the luck would be able to save him from the next one.

His schedule was indeed empty next Tuesday afternoon, so unless he thought of something quickly he would have to give in. Knowing that his mother would be checking his timetable with the Institute, Akira was at a loss of what to do. Packing up, he decided to forget about the whole thing just for now. Shindou would be waiting for him at his father's Go salon around now since they've decided to meet up there and go over Shindou's game with Ichiryu. _I need to find out the result of the match quickly. I can't be distracted by something as silly as this! _Akira reminded himself.

Omiai: The first meeting between the two families in Japanese arranged marriage. If successful, the two would start dating each other.

Girls in Japan in marry when they are sixteen with parents' permission

**Author's Note**: Sorry if this seems a horrible start, but I promise I'll make it better! Again apologies for possible grammar or spelling mistakes (my English is poor...). Anyways, please do review and tell me what you think about it!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** Hikaru no Go belongs to Obata Takeshi and Hotter Yuma, not me!

**A/N:** I have finally thought through the whole plot and I just can't wait to put all of them down. There will be a few more interesting twists so please keep reading! Oh, and don't forget to review too as I'd like some feedback (Onegaishimasu! )

**Warning:** This has not been betaed (someone willing to be my beta pleeeeeease?) so I apologize in advance for any grammatical or spelling mistakes (corrections are welcome!)

**Summary:** The story takes place five years after the conclusion of the manga. Hikaru is now on the verge of winning his first title, while Akira has already become Meiji. Both are still rivals on their path to Kami no Itte – the hand of God. But their successful careers are also matched with complicated personal lives.

**Chapter Two: The Touya Dilemma**

Shindou Hikaru quickened his steps as he claimed the stairs to the Go Salon. It has been a long and tiring day for him, yet he was eager to see his life-long rival, Touya Akira. A detailed analysis over today's game with Touya was exactly what he felt like right now. As he swung the door of the Go Salon open, Shindou immediately his eyes immediately met Touya's eager and determined gaze. As Hikaru gave a tiny nod, he couldn't help smiling at the sight of Touya dropping his squared shoulders and signing with relief, as if it was one of his own games. _He's just as glad as I am that we are finally on the same level. Now is when our rivalry truly begins!_

Just as the two pros were involved in a deep discussion in their usual corner, Ichikawa-san's voice rang from the counter: 'Touya-kun? Your mother called and asked you to go home for dinner.' _Pa!_ Hikaru frowned as his opponent dropped the white go stone he was holding.

'Are you okay Touya?'

'I'm fine. The stone just slipped.' Touya regained his composure quickly, yet Hikaru, who has come to know the boy so well, identified a slight note of stress in his calm reply. _Slipped! When has Touya Akira ever dropped a Go stone! The only other time this has happened was when he heard about his father's second heart attack…Wait! This couldn't be…!_

'Touya! What's wrong? Is your father okay?' The blond boy almost knocked over the Go board as he reached over and grabbed the other boy's shoulders.

'What are you talking about?' The dark haired boy questioned with a blank look, wincing at the firm grip.

'Oh,' quickly letting go of the other boy, Hikaru murmured in embarrassment. 'I just thought your father was…last time you dropped your stone…so it's not your father then?'

'Of course not!' Akira would have been quite amused by Hikaru's reaction if he didn't have other things on his mind. 'It's just that my mother's been trying to…' Realizing what he was saying, the boy abruptly stopped. 'Let's continue with the game. It's your turn.'

Hikaru raised his eyebrow and didn't reach out for the stones. _So something is bothering him! _'What did your mother want?' The blond haired boy was clearly resolved not to give up on this one.

'It's none of your business!'

'Yeah it is! It's bothering you right now and I don't want to win so easily just because you're not concentrating!'

Half annoyed half exasperated by his opponent, Akira just didn't have the heart to retort. Signing heavily, he murmured absentmindedly: 'She wants me to get married…'

'Get MARRIED!' to Akira's horror, the blond managed to attract the full attention of all patrons in the salon while he also managed to finally knock over the Goban. Feeling intense heat creeping up his cheek, Akira suddenly found himself wishing he could evaporate right at the spot instead of being gawked at by a bunch of people, but his own politeness stopped him from running away. Only half aware of what was going on, Akira felt being gripped by his arm and dragged out of the salon door as he heard Shindou's voice: 'Ichikawa-san, we are leaving now. Can you please clean up for us today?'

----------------------

Twenty minutes later, Akira found himself staring at a bowl of steaming Ramen in front of him, with his rival smacking his lips asking for another serve.

'Eat up, we can't talk with empty stomach.' Shindou mumbled between mouthfuls of noodles. _I'm not even sure I'm going to talk to you yet. _Thought the dark haired boy as he reluctantly picked up a pair of chopsticks.

It was not like Akira to talk about his own affairs in front of others, or to listen to other people's private problems for that matter. He'd usually feel intensely embarrassed and his mind would go suddenly blank, unable to think up the appropriate thing to say. Indeed, Akira was no good at dealing emotions, which is one of the reasons he was such an 'unsociable' person, as most his peers had labeled him. _What would they expect from somebody who's been taught for a lifetime that emotions are the greatest weakness for a go player?_ The boy thought bitterly as he began to sip some soup.

'So, are you going to tell me or what?' After the long painful silence with Shindou clicking his tongue while shooting his rival irritated glances across the table, which were carefully ignored by the dark haired boy, the blonde finally lost his patience.

'I've already told you that I don't want to talk about it.' A cold and flat response that could have intimidated lots of people, but apparently not Shindou.

'Just spill. I want to hear about it!' The blonde waved Akira's response out of the way as though it was just an irritating fly.

A cold furry was now running through Akira's body and he could barely control the anger that's eating him from inside. Wishing his glares would stab the other boy as painful as knives, he spat: 'What makes you think that you can order me around like that? I've had enough people telling me what to do and what not to do in my whole life and I am not having it from you too!' The dark haired boy suddenly raised from his seat and stormed out of the Ramen shop, knocking over the chopstick stand in the process, leaving his rival quite stunned.

Running along the dark street as though he was chased by somebody, the young protégé didn't know what to do, where to go, or what to think about. He felt lost and alone, as though the whole world is against him.

_I should stop running and go home, mother and father would be worried. _But his subconscious kept his legs busy. _I'm being extremely childish and I should not be acting like how Shindou always act. _Akira reasoned with himself, trying to gather his thoughts. _Why am I so angry? Shindou only tried to help but I've completely blown him off. In fact, I shouldn't be upset with mother either. The whole marriage thing was stupid, but she was just concerned about me after all. I should be ashamed of myself for throwing such a tantrum, this is not like me at all! Imagine what would people think when they see 'the Touya Akira' acting like…_

_What would people think…._

_That's it! Why should I always care about what other people think about me? I want to hang out with people my own age and have fun! I want to laugh and yell and scream just like other young people! I want to… but all people care about is the fact that I am 'the upright and serious young man, the ex-Meijin's son and the new Meijin, the raising star or new wave or whatever they call it'. Nobody even knows who I truly am; _I_ don't even know who I really am…_

The thought hit him like a heavy rock falling right on top of his head: being alive for twenty years and not even knowing who you are was not a pleasant thing. Akira slowed his pace, his subconscious has brought him to the only place he could think of where he would have a peaceful little space undisturbed so that he could get his thoughts straight.

TBC

**A/N:** Ok, Akira's finally snapped! I've always thought he would one of these days, considering the amount of stress somebody in his position would have Anyways, hope you enjoyed the chapter, next one will have Hikaru involved a bit more.


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